There are a lot of unknowns in the life of a writer -- who the characters will turn out to be, what there story will be about, if it will all come together, if the story will be enjoyable for others to read, if it will matter or move them, if it will be published/well-received/well-reviewed, etc. But the unknowns are true for everyone -- will we/our kids get into the schools/programs we want, will we get a job we're hoping for, will we like it, etc. The unknowns go on forever. 

So the question becomes how we handle the unknowns. Do we sink and drown in worry and what-ifs or do we float up and learn to appreciate the not knowing, to love the questions themselves. It's not easy, especially for a champion worrier. But it is possible. Today's Friday Five is a list of how to embrace the not-knowing:

1. In the realm of not-knowing, everything is possible. You can dream up any outcome you desire. 

2. When you're in the not-knowing, you can actually relax. You've done all you can for that application or job interview or whatever, and now it's time to quit grasping onto it so tightly. It's like when you're preparing to travel and you rush around to get all the laundry and packing and everything done, you print the boarding passes and race to the airport. It's go go go. But once you're on the plane, you've done all you can do. You can't fly the thing or keep it afloat by your own effort. It's time to let go, take a deep breath, and relax.

3. When you're lost in the labyrinth of not-knowing worries, it's a good time to focus on gratitude. Rather than getting caught up in the desperate desire to get that spot in the school or job to which you're applying or the approval of a critique-partner/agent/editor, focus instead on all that you have. It's a great opportunity to remember how lucky you already are.

4. Think about that question that's weighing you down, about how awesome it is that you can even ask it, that you have gotten as far as you have. Love the question.

5. Finally, when all else fails, and the worries seem to be winning, remind yourself that the land of not-knowing is rich with opportunities to treat yourself. Because anyone lost there deserves a little something extra. Take yourself on a date to celebrate the fact that you're in that special world that always, without fail, leads you somewhere new.